A few years ago, I made the toughest decision in my youth
soccer career as a coach and a mother.
My team had worked hard and quickly moved up the ranks to a coveted D1
spot in Long Island Junior Soccer. The
problem was that I knew we were not a D1 level team and also knew that although
all of my players trained and played hard and had heart, it was 4 standout
players who got us to D1 and in D1 you need an entire team to stay
competitive. As a parent, I knew my son
was one of those players and knew that it was time for him to switch to a
trainer he was not related to, and I also wanted him on a team that was more
competitive and that travelled out of state for tournaments. These were all things the majority of the
parents on my team did not want for the team.
I realized my son and a few of my players had outgrown our youth soccer
team. The best interest for everyone
involved was to help my 4 more skilled players move on to teams better for
their needs and to drop my team to a less competitive level that better met the
majority of the teams skill level as well as the wants of the parents. Although it was not the easiest change, what
kept my team mostly intact and has left me with a great relationship with my
former players is that I was open, honest, and communicated with everyone
involved. With that we will take a look
at the next step in the Youth Soccer Tryout Process.
2. Have an
open/honest/respectful discussion with the child’s current soccer coach about
what you and your child wants from a team and ask the coach about his
plans/expectations for the player and
team
IF YOUR VISION and HIS ARE NOT THE SAME, TELL THE COACH ABOUT YOUR
PLANS TO EXPLORE OTHER TEAMS AS SOON AS DECISION IS MADE AND PRIOR TO ATTENDING
OTHER TRYOUTS.
The ideal conversation with your
child’s current coach should be done face to face. Once you make the decision to change teams,
give the coach a call and ask for a few minutes after the next practice. If the coach prefers to discuss the issue
over the phone, he/she will let you know at that point. While discussing your decision to change
teams with the coach, be respectful and honest.
If the issue is that you feel your child’s soccer goals are different
than what the current team is offering, let the coach know. He may have plans for the team you are not
aware of and may influence your decision. Have the conversation with an open
mind, because if the coach is able to address your issues, it is always best to
keep your child on the original Youth Soccer team. Keep in mind that a player leaving a team can
affect the team’s plans for the following seasons and sometimes can even mean
the team will not be have enough players to field a team the next season. This is why it is so important to discuss the
issue with the coach as soon as possible and allow him and the other parents
the time to determine the best move for the team and their children.
Honestly, it is very common that players
change teams due to conflict between the parents and coach. This should also be addressed with the coach
as he/she should be given an opportunity to address any conflict you believe
exists and even if your conflict can’t be resolved, if the coach knows what’s
best for the team, he/she will keep in mind any complaints that parents have
and evaluate if they are valid and need to be addressed. We are all human- parents and coaches- Youth
Soccer can be an emotional and intense sport, and sometimes we let it get to us
in a bad way and sometimes we need to be told how it affected others. (Except
for me because as a soccer mom and coach I have NEVER lost my temper with
another coach, ref or parent, and ALWAYS compose myself perfectly on the sideline)
Depending on your relationship with
your child’s soccer coach, this may be the most difficult step. If the relationship is not a good one, it may
be the most enjoyable step for you. I
have said goodbye to players that I was saddened to see the soccer player and
the parent leave, but I also had a few who although I was sad to see the player
go, I had to smile in relief that the parent was gone. (Hey- I can’t preach
honesty without being honest!) Tomorrow,
I will take a look at the next few steps in the Soccer Tryout Process. As always, please comment; ask questions or
share experiences below!
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