As parents of youth soccer players, we need to take a good look at ourselves and do some self-evaluation. After we complete our self-evaluation, we need to then have a discussion with our youth soccer player and allow them to answer openly and honestly. The reality of youth soccer is that sometimes the blame, yes I said blame, must lie with the players. Listen quietly at the sidelines of most youth soccer games and you will hear a plethora of excuses and false blame for poor soccer. Often in the cross sights are the coach, trainer, club, certain players, parents of the other team, tournament directors, hotel staff, free continental breakfast lack of Wheaties, and Aroid. Yes, go ahead, take a moment and go back and reread the last sentence. Isn’t everything Aroids fault? Or is it the fault of his PR people? I digress, the first 4 or 5 of the list were legitimate and the most usual suspects taking blame on the sidelines of most youth soccer games. (Although, honestly, everything is always Aroid’s fault.)
The truth is that we are doing our children a disservice by constantly finding someone else to blame. Youth soccer players are not robots (oh how that would make my job as a soccer coach so much easier) and as such they have wills of their own with moods and the ability to have good games and bad games. They can and should be held accountable for their personal role in their play on the field. I said it last week and I will say it again, a coach and trainer (unless abusive or unreliable) should not be judged on a tournament, game, or even a season. Soccer is a year round sport, with a minimum of team commitment through Fall and Spring season, and it can take those seasons of time and experience to start seeing a change in players. In addition, a coach/trainer’s ability should not be judged on wins and losses. A parent needs to evaluate the play of the individual player and team and determine if they are improving. Sometimes, a team will improve and then gain or lose players or change their level of competition. All of this will change the team’s ability to win and lose games, but the reality is that they may be improving exponentially as players and as a team. It takes a knowledge of soccer and some realistic and fair reasoning to determine if your coach/trainer is effective regardless of if your child’s team is losing or winning games.
TRUTH SPOKEN HERE-------) Regardless of how much a coach yells or screams on the sideline (or doesn’t), the lineup he puts on the field, or the time and location of our games: our girls and boys CHOSE to PLAY or NOT PLAY each weekend. When this occurs there actually becomes nothing a coach can do to change the outcome on the field or motivate these players. I speak this with the experience of having seen his with my own team last weekend and having witnessed it with many other youth soccer teams throughout the years, and we will add in my years of experience of caring for kids both at home and professionally. Youth soccer and youth soccer players lack consistency.
(Here comes the lecture- allow me to get on my soapbox. Ahem...) You may be rolling your eyes and wondering what the point of practices, trainings, tournaments, etc etc etc, is if I am just going to tell you it all comes down to the inconsistent behavior of our kids.
First off: If we do not have our young soccer players join organized sports and possibly play at a competitive level, then they will not gain knowledge of team play and the corresponding social skills. In addition, they will not learn the soccer skill and knowledge of the game of soccer that they will need to exceed on the field when they are mentally committed to the game and playing in a manner consistent with the soccer they have been taught.
Second off: As long as our players are properly placed in a league that allows them the appropriate level of competition to their level and they have that outlet to fail and succeed with wins and loses appropriate to their skill level, they can only benefit from failure at other venues. In other words, repeatedly registering a D4 team in D1 will only destroy the team’s morale and have a negative impact. Allowing them to play a season in a higher division or attend tournaments with more competitive teams is not destroying their morale, it is giving them an opportunity to be exposed to a higher level of soccer that can help them improve their game.
Third off: Repeatedly taking a highly skilled team to competitive tournaments where they repeatedly lose is appropriate when they are losing because of their mentality and NOT because they lack the skill to win games at the tournament. In other words, just because a team repeatedly loses at games or tournaments does not mean that they are playing at a level that is too competitive. Teams that are playing teams that are at a comparable skill and competition level as them, but the team continues to not play well and loses at these tournaments or games must make a group decision. Either the coach, parents, and players will decide that they prefer the trophy and bragging rights that playing at a lower level will bring or they will decide that they will take the experience that comes with the losses, put the players on notice, and continue to work hard and attend the tough competition events until the players realize they need to play the way they were taught regardless of if the win will be easy or one they need to work to win. (Oh yes- it is fire and it is honest and it is not meant for every soccer girl or boy. I am referring specifically to the soccer player and team that is a little older and has dedicated themselves to a competitive level of soccer that has taken some years of training and commitment. This is for the soccer player that has soccer dreams- whether it's to be the best they can be, to play Varsity soccer, College level soccer, MLS, World Cup, or for Barcelona. The reality of the dream does not matter, it is the existence of the dream that matters.)
What does this all mean? To me, it means us soccer parents need to let the process work. Our kids may have soccer dreams and we will not destroy their dreams with reality, but to us we must realize that the reality is that while our kids are playing towards their soccer dreams, we are hoping they are realizing our parent dreams of them having fun while learning about hard work, the benefits of commitment, loyalty, teamwork, respecting authority, sore winning, sore losing, good winning, and good losing. All skills that help them on the soccer field will benefit them in being successful later in life, as long as we let them learn the lessons and not make excuses or try to soften the disappointment for them.
As always, please comment below. Share your thoughts, agreements, disagreements, and experiences. Read it-Like it-Subscribe to it-Share it!
No comments:
Post a Comment