Are You Properly Preparing Your Youth Soccer Player?

By all apparent indicators- I am failing miserably at this blog stuff.  I have not only NOT kept true to my intentions of 2 posts a week, but I also have not even posted in the last 2 weeks OR updated my Facebook and Twitter.  I can only apologize and hope that the money I have spent on a new Chrome Notebook and Blackberry will mean that my technological woes are behind me.  I am PLANNING to make Wednesday my post day and plan to do a weekend post as I attend the many tournaments in the next few weeks and then the start of our seasons.  It is my intention that the Wednesday posts will be where I include researched topics and resources, while my weekend posts will be more geared towards my thoughts and experiences with Long Island Youth Soccer that weekend.  That in itself will give me material for YEARS!  I figure, as my emotions vary each post soccer game weekends, these posts will vary from angry rants, amused observations, embarrassed apologies, to boastful gloats (just kidding- I would never gloat).  Since I have already spent too much time away from my topic tonight, let me just also state that it is not my intention to imitate any other youth soccer outlets or be something that I am not.  I do not profit from this blog and do not plan to profit from this blog.  I DO plan to use my experience here to create another blog that will be a professional blog that ties into an online “Interview Skills” course I am creating, but for the purpose of this blog for Long Island Youth Soccer, my only intent is to share my experiences, information, resources, and stories for the benefit of other youth soccer coaches, team managers, and parents.  I hope you enjoy what I have to say and share and as always encourage comments and ask that you share this site with others.  Now back to our regularly scheduled blog post...

It seems that in the last month, both of my son’s coaches and I have discussed acceptable expectations for players and parents.  In addition, I have ranted with my trainer and to some of my parents about what I should be able to expect as a coach from my players and their parents.  Recently, I received a mass email from Long Island Junior Soccer that highlighted a conversation with the Coach of the new BU 16 National Champions Smithtown Arsenal and discussed the sacrifices his players and parents made and how he felt it was the difference in his team being able to win the title.  (Are you picking up on a theme here?) YES!! The sacrifices that the Arsenal Coach attributed to his team’s win, are the SAME sacrifices that we all felt our players and parent’s need to make.  (Imagine that.)

To me, the sacrifices (personally, I think that is a strong word- I prefer common sense choices- but many would probably take offense to that) make sense and once a Coach makes the request, the parents and players who are spending their time and money to play Youth Soccer would have no problem abiding by the coach’s requests.  I am finding, unfortunately more and more, as a Youth Soccer Coach and mom, that even at a high level of soccer and travel soccer, the level of commitment varies greatly.  This is extremely frustrating to the parents, players, and coaches who are willing to make the “sacrifices”.  I will still never understand why parents would pay the money to have their child involved in “Premier” level and/or Travel youth soccer and not make the commitment of time and whatever else is expected by the coach they are trusting to coach their child.

At this point, you are either nodding your head in full agreement and muttering along with me, OR you are re-reading the post and asking yourself “What is she talking about? What sacrifices?”  So, in order that we can all be on the same page, let me back up and ask some questions for you to answer (honestly- you are in the privacy of your own space):

1.  What time prior to games does your child’s soccer coach expect you and your child to be at the field?

What time do you and your child actually arrive to the field?

Most coaches should expect their players to arrive to any playing field a minimum of 1 hour prior to game time in order to ensure time to properly prepare the team for the game.  (The Arsenal coach states that his team showed up atleast 90 minutes prior to gametime and the opposing team showed up only 45 minutes prior to the game.)

2.  When travelling (or home), what time does your coach expect your child to be in bed the night before a game? (Usually, curfew is only put in effect when travelling out of state for tournaments).

What time do you actually put your child to bed?

Personally, I LOVE when my son’s Coach gives a curfew because it makes him the bad guy when  I tell my son “Coach said...”.  I also feel this way, because I WANT my child in bed by 8 or 9 pm the night before a game.  Even the night before afternoon games because I want them up early enough to be alert for the game.  So when his teammates are hanging out in the hotel at 10:30pm and Coach has not given a curfew, I do feel like a bad guy and will often wimp out and let him hang out with the teammates for the bonding experience.  (The Arsenal coach states that his team of BU16 players willingly agreed to an 8 or 9pm curfew.)

3.  What do you feed your youth soccer player prior to a game or between games at a tournament?

This one has driven me BATTY for years.  YES,  I agree, it makes little sense why the Tournament committees have vendors who sell only fried and greasy food and candy, and offer bouncy rides and other activities to distract and exhaust our players.  Here is the thing....repeat this out loud 3 times:  “Drink this water and eat this light sandwich and fruit now and after you play hard you can get a snack and go on a ride before we go home (to hotel).”  It seems so simple and makes so much sense.  Our young soccer players and their coach have trained and practiced for months for these games and tournaments, but yet us parents who have shelled out the training money and time to go to practices and to this tournament, will torpedo ALL the work and sacrifice by allowing our kids to eat junk and run around like maniacs prior to the games (or in between games).

 We then send our players to the coach with full bellies, not properly hydrated, and exhausted from their excursions between games, and we stand on the sidelines in disbelief (and sometimes questioning the effectiveness and soccer knowledge of the coach) when the players are slow and seem “uninterested” in playing.

Any athlete should begin drinking water to hydrate the night before a game and atleast 1 hour prior to a game.  They should eat a light snack or fruit 2-3 hours prior to game time and should have adequate sleep and be woken atleast 2 hours prior to when they need to leave home or hotel.  Some of you are laughing and thinking this is extreme, but I challenge you to try it a few times and see the outcome.  How can we go wrong teaching our kids to eat healthy and get rest?

As a Youth Soccer Coach, I can go on and on and on, but I will not.  If you think I am extremist or the only soccer maniac to think this way, try printing this and showing it to your child’s soccer coach.  Ask your child’s soccer coach what they think of what I have written.  I can say with complete honesty that the same things that I shared above have been repeated by many coaches.  I often chuckle to myself and allow a small sigh of relief that it is not just “my” parents and soccer players who need the same lecture.  (Although it is even more amusing when I hear the speech given by the Coach of my son’s competition as opposed to one of their Soccer Coaches).  I found it fitting that the conversation with the Smithtown National Champion’s Coach came out as we enter our month of Youth Soccer tournaments and found it a perfect segway into this conversation.  Somewhere a Long Island Youth Soccer Coach is reading this and trying to figure out how to get their parent’s to read it without offending them.  Good luck to all of our young soccer player’s this month as we prepare for School Ball and the Fall Long Island Youth Soccer season!

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August Youth Soccer Tournaments- Info and Team Management

As I laid in bed last night unable to sleep due to this oppressive heat we are dealing with on Long Island, I experienced a moment of pure panic as I realized it is already July 19^th.  Not only are we well into the heart of summer, but I realized that I had not yet gotten this post about August tournaments written for you AND that MY Soccer Team Manager had not yet registered my team for our August tournaments.  I WISH that I could fire my team manager, she has been increasingly unreliable the last few months, and I am not willing to be an understanding employer who realizes she is recovering from major back surgery.  NO! I expect my Team Manager to be organized, prepared, and making sure that we are registered and all paperwork is in order in a timely fashion prior to our tournaments.  I want the same commitment from MY team’s Team Manager that my son’s Team Manager gives.  Now, if you have been paying attention to my blog, you are scratching your head in complete confusion.  If you are new to my blog, I probably just sound like a true “B”.  Everyone rest assured, we will blame the heat and my need for additional medication the last few days.  I am my Team’s Coach and Team Manager (although I have a Team Parent who handles the money).  In addition, I am taking on more and more Team Managerial responsibilities for my older son’s  team and have had my hand in preparation and Travel arrangements for the Team’s June NJ tournament trip and our upcoming August PA trip.  The point of my poor attempt at humor is that not only are we deep into Summer Youth Soccer Tournament Season, but some of us are very unprepared and the most overlooked but probably most valuable person on the Youth Soccer Team is the Team Manager. 

I taught myself about Team Management and tournaments and what it takes to prepare a team for different events.  Our discussion of the role of Team Manager will be ongoing and I will begin a “Team Manager Diary” for others to follow as guidance.  In this blog, I will share with you information I have gathered on Upcoming Youth Soccer Tournaments on Long Island.  There isn’t much time left to register, but in case it is helpful, please read and learn about some of the local tournaments coming up on Long Island in August 2013.  This post will NOT take a look at every tournament available.  Due to my lack of better planning, I am only mentioning tournaments that either my team has registered at this year or that one of my son’s teams is registered at this year.  In other words, I will be at each of these tournaments at SOME point (I hope gas prices finally go down for all the driving I will be doing next month.)  I am including basic info and contact information so that if it is a tournament of interest, you can reach out to the tournament with questions.  Also, most of the tournaments have been around for YEARS and while it may be too late to get your team into some of the tournaments, you can also use the information to prepare for next summer.  Please feel free to comment below with any experiences you have had at the tournaments, but please let’s keep it positive.  It is ok to comment on a bad experience, but let us try to keep it in a polite manner.

LONG ISLAND YOUTH SOCCER TOURNAMENTS AUGUST 2013

(A minimalist look at local Youth Soccer Tournaments)

Aug. 3^rd/4^th         LI Rough Riders BEACH BASH: 1 Day (Sat 8/3) - Jones Beach, NY; U8-U15, HS and Adult Divisions, REGISTRATION ENDS SOON!  (7/20^th date Sold Out), $295, 3 games (3 10-min periods, 5v.5) **THIS IS A BEACH SOCCER EVENT AND LIMITED ROSTER SIZE AND DIFFERENT RULES)**

Email: Tournaments@liroughriders.com- Although I have never been to a Beach Tournaments, I have heard GREAT things about them and you already know I believe the Rough Riders run some of the most competitive and well organized tournaments in the area.  I am looking forward to attending and seeing how Beach Soccer works on Long Island.

                                Auburndale Soccer Tournament: 1 Day but can be scheduled 8/3 or 8/4- Randall’s Island, NY; U8-U10 $300, U11-U15 $350, 3 games guaranteed, Registration EXTENDED to 7/21/13. 

Info: www.Auburndalesoccerclub.org –Although not technically taking place on Long Island, it is close enough and as I will be there at some point, I included it in our list.  I have never attended this tournament, but I have been to games at Randall’s Island and I enjoy the fields and the view of Manhattan.  It is a busy area and can be difficult to move through the maze of roads.  It will be an interesting experience, but one I look forward to attending.

Aug. 10^th/11^th    West Islip Fun In The Sun:  2 Day (8/10&8/11)- West Islip, NY; U9-U11 $395, U12-U15 $435, Guaranteed 4 50 minute games, Trophies 1^st & 2^nd place, Player gift all players, REGISTRATION DEADLINE: 7/31/13

Info: www.westislip.com or Email: Jklfire6@aol.com – I have never done the West Islip tournament before and I believe (may be wrong) it is one of the newer tournaments in August.  I do know they have been running the tournament for at least a few years.  The West Islip Fun In The Sun runs up against the larger and longer running East End Tournament, but I know that I am looking forward to attending a tournament that is closer to home.  I have never heard any negative comments about the tournament and am looking forward to a new experience.  I do know that this tournament was the first to respond to my request for information and as you all know I love when members of this Youth Soccer Community Support each other.  It is a large market and the more options we have, the better for the kids.  If we all support each other it only benefits the kids and Youth Soccer on Long Island.

                East End Tournament:  2 Day (8/10&8/11)- William Floyd School Fields, Mastic, NY; U9-U11 $400, U12-U17 $450, REGISTRATION ENDS SOON!

Info: www.eastendsoccertournament.com or email robzecha@eastendsoccertournament.com – This was the first major tournament I ever did with my team and I was a mess in regards to paperwork and planning the day and helping my parents to understand what to expect.  It was a HORRIBLY hot weekend and I basically ran in all directions as a coach new to Youth Soccer Tournaments.  The fields and tournament tents are placed in an immense plot of land and you must come prepared to walk.  They do a decent job of scheduling the games on fields that are close together, but every once in a while you do get that game scheduled on the field clear across the complex.  The first year, I was miserable and lost and swore I would never do the tournament again.  As a coach, I was overwhelmed and this is one reason it is so important to do your homework prior to tournament days.  The one thing I could not complain about was that the staff and volunteers working the tournament were helpful.  Last year my team and my older son’s team attended the tournament and it was a better experience because I was better prepared.  I can say that the staff is attentive (I had just been injured and they made sure there was a golf cart waiting for me to take me between fields and they offered that, it was not a request of mine.)  This is a long running and known tournament in Long Island Youth Soccer and the level of competition has always been high.  At the same time, there was appropriate competition in a lower bracket that was perfect for my lower division team and good competition for my son’s team in a higher bracket.  The awards ceremony was organized and I think we all had a good weekend.  For my team, it was a long drive, but the competition we faced made the drive worth it. And I lied above, I will enjoy having a short drive to West Islip, but I still have to travel to East End for 2 other teams.  This will be a long weekend, but the concessions and the promise of 2 tournaments full of soccer will make it worth it!

Aug. 17^th/18^th:   Long Island Rough Riders Kick-Off Classics:  1 Day (Sat. 8/17)Plainview Soccer Park, Plainview, NY; U7-U10: 8V8 $395, U12-U14 + HS: 11V11 $425, REGISTRATION ENDS SOON!

Info: www.liroughriders.com Email: tournaments@liroughriders.com – This is the 4^th year that the Rough Riders have held this Kick-Off Classic in August, but I have never attended.  Unfortunately, I will be out of state with my older son’s team this weekend and am sending Ace Reporter/Correspondent and Soccer mom stand-in “Grandpa” to attend the tournament with my little guy (first time ever I have missed a tourney- it will be rough).  Even though I have no experience with this tournament, I again have high expectations and will recommend a Rough Rider tournament 10 times over.  My experience is of a knowledgeable, professional, helpful, and organized staff.  Great concession and I like the Plainview fields.  The fields are decent grass fields and there is room for teams to warm up, specific team and separate parent areas, and everything are in a manageable walking area.   I look forward to getting my report back and hearing the experience from a third party.

Aug. 24^th/25^th:   35^th Annual East Meadow Soccer Tournament: (formerly Covanta Cup) 2 Days (8/24&8/25), Assorted Fields East meadow area, NY; U8-U11 &625, U12 and above $775.  This tournament registration ended this year and usually Sells Out.  I am including as I will be there with 2 teams this year and it is one of the most well-known Youth Soccer Tournaments on Long Island in August.  This tournament is known for having high competition and I recommend considering it for next year.

Info: www.eastmeadowsoccer.com

                This takes us through the month of August for Youth Soccer Tournaments on Long Island.  There are other tournaments, but these are the ones that I am most familiar with and I will be at every tournament listed above this year.  I love tournaments so I am excited for so much soccer and to have so many tournament experiences in such a short time to get an idea of how each one really compares.  If you are affiliated with another tournament during this time, please contact me at coachmommyli@yahoo.com and I would love to hear about your tournament and add the information in the next few days,  Also, I can put information on my Facebook (Facebook.com/coachmommylongisland) and Twitter (Twitter.com/coachmommyli) pages (make sure you like and follow!)  Please comment below check back in the next few days.  Time is running out for Labor Day tournaments and I will be looking at the HBC and Oceanside Labor Day Tournaments.  As always, please share your thought below and: Read It-Like It-Share It-Subscribe to It-Comment!

CoachMommyLongIsland Review: LI Rough Riders FREE Youth Goalie Clinic

               

 

What is the one position on the soccer field that brings the most fear to parents?  The position is that of goalie.  Not only is it a position in which we must watch players kick balls at our children and watch our children go head first into player’s cleats, but it is also a high stress position.  There is nothing more difficult than sitting on the sideline with all of the other parents from the team, after your child has been scored on.  Also, many of us want to see our child running on the field, scoring goals, and learning skill and interacting with other teammates throughout the game instead of standing by their lonesome in the net. 

                As a coach, I have spent many years trying to convince players and their parents that it is a smart move to have their child train to play as a goalie.  Almost every season I would have the same conversation with the team and parents explaining that by learning to play goal, it was in fact a great opportunity for the player: as a decent goalie will always have a team to play for since goalies are in short supply.  The conversation almost always ended with me having to the threaten the team and their parent s that if someone did not volunteer to play in goal then EVERY player would take a turn in goal since we could not field a soccer team with no goalie.  Not only myself, but almost every youth soccer coach out there is always on the lookout for a skilled (or even “kinda skilled”) youth soccer goalie to snatch up for our team.  I was always privately relieved that my son’s did not play in goal…until my little guy not only announced last season that he wanted to play goalie for his team, but he then proceeded to become a MONSTER in the net.  A monster with some good instincts, but he had very little knowledge of how to be a goalie.

               

Needless to say, when I received the email this past June about the free Goalie clinic being offered by the Long Island Rough Riders prior to one of their Men’s home games, I jumped on the opportunity to not only get my son some quality introduction to Youth Soccer Goalie 101, but I knew we would enjoy the Men’s Soccer Game that followed the training.  And let’s be completely honest…FREE is always my favorite price.  So, I not only responded to the email to sign my son up for the FREE Clinic, but I sent the email to my good friend, who has a son who plays in goal (he bought the hype one season when I gave my goalie lecture and is now a great goalie for another higher level team), and I sent the information to the father of the goalie for my team.  I then purchased tickets for the rest of the family to attend the game and we waited for the night to come.

                I cannot tell a lie; I am not sure who was more excited, I or my son.  I have to say the one reason I never voiced my objection to my little guy playing in goal is because of his passion for the position.  Last fall, he was a meek field player who could not seem to find his confidence or way on the field and spent most of his games on the sidelines, and I could not object to his lack of playing time.  This past Spring, once he got into the net as a goalkeeper, he became this soccer kid who was excited to get to games and became one of the most aggressive goalkeepers for his age I have ever seen.  He received some training in goal, but as I said, I like the kids to get a variety of training and the LI Rough Riders Free Goalie Clinic was a great opportunity.

           

 

 

Dressed in his long sleeve goalie jersey and long goalie pants, with his turf cleats and Gatorade (epic fail for me as the rules specifically said Water Only and no Gatorade in St. Anthony’s gym) and we were off to St. Anthony’s High School for the clinic.  Upon arrival, we checked in and headed into the gym with parents and spectators in the stands and Goalie keepers aged 9(ish) to 13(ish) on the field.  As the players were lined up, the clinic began with a discussion about proper goalie equipment AND care for the equipment.  I thought this was a great conversation to have, especially with the parents in ear shot, as many parents and coaches overlook the added extra expense for goalkeepers and their families.  As the parent of a goalkeeper, I found it very informative to learn about the proper care of goalie gloves and how to maintain the gloves and clean them.  (They can be washed, but they need to be washed with enough time prior to game and practices so that they can properly dry.  A tip was to place them between 2 towels to help squeeze excess water from the gloves in order to expedite the drying process.)  I know as a parent and coach, I always cringe when I see a soccer player of any age thrown in net without proper gloves or protection for their arms and legs.  A player that is used to playing in goal will become accustomed to the feel of having to get down on the ground or turf to make saves, and their body becomes used to it.  These players can begin to choose if they want to wear long sleeve/legged protective gear or short length (although for youth I ALWAYS recommend long sleeve protective shirts).  Soccer players who are given nothing but a different colored tee and no gloves are being done a disservice by their coach and put at risk.  I believe every coach should carry 1-2 pairs of Goalie gloves in their bag in case they ever need to sub a non-goalie in to the game.

                (stepping off soap box and reminding self I have a blog to write)

              

  After the equipment care discussion, as the players began a soft catch with their ball and the trainers, the question was asked about which animal the favorite animal of all goalies is (or should be).  I will not give away the answer and spoil it for future clinics, but I will say think stealth and quick.  Soon, the group was split into a group of the older goalies and the younger goalies and they began working on drills.  As they worked on the drills, which focused on ball recovery, quick movement, and following instructions, the main trainer also taught the young soccer goalies about the different types of catches (a “W” and a “Basket”).  Can anyone comment below and tell us the most effective catch of the two?  I will give you a hint:  it is the catch that requires 8 different body parts being in contact with the ball.  Comment below to share your answer.  In addition, they young goalies were taught the “Cobra” technique, which is the best goalie stop when faced with a “50/50” ball on a breakaway.  (FINALLY!  Someone taught my son the safe way to go aggressive on the ball.)  The goalkeeper must have strong hands and get out to the ball on the ground with her/his body on back shoulder, head down, and hands and wrists over the ball with ball contact with hands, wrists, inner arms, and body.  (See side picture).  The most interesting part of the training was that the players did all of their training and drills without ever getting in the net and were able to learn that they can train and practice without a net.  Although the initial training was to last about 1.5 hours with a competition at half-time of the game, the game start was delayed and the kids got almost an extra hour of free training.  The clinic included free entrance to the game for the goal keepers (and discounted tickets for the families).  During the game, the goalies all sat together with the trainers and were able to continue to learn as they watched the game and discussed the moves of the goalies.  At half-time, the goal keepers went down to the field and took part in a competition to show off everything they learned in training.  It was not only an educational, but also a FUN night for the kids and families.

              

 

My favorite part of the training was that in addition to the skills training and lessons about equipment care, the trainers also spoke to the goalkeepers about goalies being the heartbeat of the team.  It was explained to the kids that goalies must be strong and never show weakness because the team will watch the goalie and react to his actions.  The trainers made it clear to the kids that they were to never put their hands on their knees or put their heads down, or cry when a goal is scored.  In addition, the goalies were taught that they must be the voice of the team on the field.  As a coach, everything that I want my goalie to know was taught at the training.  It was a well-rounded training for youth soccer goal keepers.

               

In this case, free did not mean low quality.  The clinic was not only exceptionally informative and taught appropriately for the age levels of soccer players that attended, but the trainers taught in a way that was fun for the kids, while also being “no-nonsense” and maintaining high expectations for the behavior and actions of all the young participants.  I give a 5 goal salute to the LI Rough Riders for the Goalkeeper Clinic and look forward to future programs.  Well done!

                Please feel free to comment or share your experience below, even if it was different than mine.  Also if you know the answers to the above questions- please share!  Coming soon is a look at the upcoming Summer Tournaments for August.  Where is your team going?  As always: Read It-Like It-Share It- Comment-Subscribe to It and FOLLOW US on Facebook and Twitter!

"Coachra" v. "Momzilla"

Coachra: “THAT” coach, appears to have lost all common sense on the sidelines, yelling and out of control, argues with referees, opposing coaches, players, and parents (n. coachro (masc.)

Momzilla: “THAT” soccer mom, can be a yelling and argumentative mess on the sidelines and/or at practices/team meetings (n. Dadzillo is male counterpart)

              

  Yep! It is finally here…the much promised and anticipated “COACHRA v. MOMZILLA” (Godzilla fans anyone?).  Every soccer field has them and the majority of the time they provide great entertainment to the saner (notice the use of “saner” and not completely “sane”) youth soccer parents and coaches.  The epic battle takes place weekly and, with the right sense of humor, has us thankful our kids aren’t on “that” team.  Unfortunately, the “Momzilla”/”Coachra” disease IS contagious and spreads quickly- often creating multiple irrational “zillas” running amuck on our kids soccer fields.  My advice is if you come across a “Coachra” or “Momzilla”- RUN!!

                Fortunately, if we find the “Coachra” is on our kid’s soccer team sideline every week, we can move away at the end of the season.  If we find run across a “Coachra” on the opposing team’s sideline, we can find humor in the “Coachra’s” behavior, as long as it is not directed at our players.  There are two kinds of “Coachras”.  I know of a “Coachra” who makes regular appearances at one of my son’s games and know that he is harmless.  On our sideline we are able to laugh and joke when the “Coachra” comes out.  This “Coachra” is dramatic and passionate on the sideline, but he/she is NOT vicious or mean spirited.  When this “Coachra” appears, we throw our hands in the air and joke it is time to go to “Soccer Church”.  Another “Coachra” is, fortunately, more difficult to find, but extremely poisonous and harmful.  This “Coachra” can either spend time berating his/her own players without offering constructive coaching/criticism, repeatedly cry and complain to the referee, and in worst case situations negatively comment or try to engage opposing players.  “Coachra” can bring out the “Coachra” in the opposing coach by repeatedly accusing opposing players of “dirty” play, call opposing players names , repeated claims against the opposing team to the referee, and these actions can lead to face offs between “Coachras” on the sideline.

 A true “Coachra” is a dangerous animal.   I have seen a true “Coachra” bring out the “Coachra” in some of the best and most calm Coaches.  The danger in a Youth Soccer “Coachra” is that when he/she goes after opposing players, the opposing Coach and parent have the natural instinct to morph into a “Coachra” or “Zilla” to protect the child.  For me, the most amusing interactions of a “Coachra” is when he/she wakes the “MechaReferee” and the banter turns to calls against the “Coachra’s” team and the dangerous “yellow” and “red” weapons known on the fields as cards.

               

I have found that the most dangerous of all Youth Soccer monsters is the “Momzilla”.  A close second is the ever present and just as loud “Dadzillo”, but experience has shown while the “Dadzillo” can be loud and overbearing, he has nothing on the sneaky and vicious “Momzilla”.  “Momzilla” will cut your throat, kick you in the shin, and morph back into “mom” in the blink of an eye.  Now, we will find “Momzilla” at any game, and the truth is any Soccer Mom can have (and will have) a “Momzilla” moment.  Sometimes, “Momzilla” will surface to yell at her own child’s lack of effort or smart play on the field and this is a distraction to the player.  I am guilty of this infraction and was put in place by my little guy when he informed me at a tournament a few weeks ago “You are distracting me”.  Little sucker put me in my place and I couldn’t even say anything- he’s right. 

                The dangerous “Momzilla” is going to strike fast and hard and shows her fangs when she feels her child has been attacked.  This “Momzilla” will go after parents, opposing players, and even the “MechaReferee”.  A sharp tongue and the ability to grow a foot in all directions when provoked define the “Momzilla’s” Super Powers.  She will cut you down, put you in your place, and take a bullet (or a fist) for her soccer player.  Once a “Momzilla” has morphed to this level of “Zilla”, there is very little rationale left in her mind and she must be dealt with in a cautionary and soothing way.  Remove this “Zilla” from the situation and soothe.  **Warning:  ALL Soccer Moms are capable of momentary morph into this “Momzilla”**    This “Momzilla” is different from the more common “Momzilla” and this one should be given some slack after the fact as if we are honest, we will usually find this behavior was out of character for the offending “Momzilla” and was a response to her perceiving a severe threat to her soccer child.  This slack should not be given to the “Momzilla” who wears her fangs at every game.

               

              Lastly, we have the Coach’s nightmare “Momzilla”.  This is the “Momzilla” who, usually, does not have a realistic understanding of the game but believes that she knows more than the coach.  This “Momzilla” makes a nuisance of herself on the sidelines every week and to the coach before games, after games, and in worst case, during games.  Listening to this “Momzilla” will have the average soccer parent wondering why her child remains on the team that she vocalizes is so poorly coached.  “Momzilla” will expect the coach to play her child in the position that she wants and for the time that she feels is appropriate.  Every decision the coach makes will be questioned by “Momzilla” and usually argued.  Although “Momzilla” believes she is advocating for her child, the truth is that soccer players with this kind of “Zilla” for a mom or dad actually suffer because of their parents’ interference.  A secret I will share with you is that Coaches and trainers talk and the existence of a  “Parentzilla” is information we share with each other.   Often, regardless of a player’s skill, if their parent’s “Zilla” rating is too high, this player may lose opportunities.  This “Momzilla’s” fangs are invisible and the most damage she causes is the knife wounds in the back of the coach and other players and parents on her child’s team.

               

I have tried to make light of what is in reality a very real and most disgusting part of Youth Soccer.  Having travelled to numerous out of state competitions, I can say the epidemic is not only on Long Island.  This is not actually a good thing.  As a 13-year-old soccer player, I remember to this day a game being stopped when an opposing father and one of the 13-year-old girls on my team got into a brawl during the game.  She was a big girl and actually held her own, but the truth is she was 13 and a grown man let a Youth Soccer game get to the point that he had a physical altercation with a child and probably ended up messing up his life with criminal charges and proceedings (I hope anyway).  Fast forward 20 years and the same things go on in Youth Soccer today.  I have been at games where the police had to be called to break up conflicts between parents, coaches, and players.  In addition, I have seen kids brought to tears by the words of their parents on the sidelines and have seen coaches scream at their youth players as if they were robots.

                A few years ago, I felt that I was getting into arguments with opposing coaches almost every game.  I truly believe it had more to do with the fact that I am a woman coach and would be tested.  When I stood my ground and went toe to toe with these coaches, many could not handle that behavior from a woman.  There is often a noticeable difference in the attitudes of opposing coaches when my male trainer attends games.  I have grown as a coach and do not let the behaviors and attitudes get to me as much and have taken my personal “Coachra” down many notches.  She still exists, but does not make the appearances she used to.  In fact, some parents approached me last year and felt I had become too docile on the sidelines and they did have a point. 

It is a fine line to walk as a coach to teach, protect, and encourage our team with our words and actions on the sideline without over stepping the line into the behavior of a “Coachra”.  As I said, every coach will have a “Coachra” moment; it is to be determined how often these moments occur.  My worst “Coachra” moment was the “Diet Soda Incident”.  I became so wrapped up in an intense game that when we gave up the winning goal with barely any time left in the game I threw my bottle of “Diet Soda” I had in my hand to the ground.  Fortunately, it did not hit anyone, but unfortunately it did spray me and 2 of my players.  I was mortified and made sure to apologize to the entire team and parents after the game.  It was also an eye opener that had me reevaluate how I let the game affect me on the sidelines.  I can say I do much better, but my kryptonite (sorry I don’t have a Godzilla reference on this) is when opposing coaches speak to my players on the field in a derogatory or unkind way.  I feel that if coaches have issues with a players behavior they should address it to the player’s coach. 

               

        I told you my story about my little guy informing me that I was a distraction to him at a game, and I recently had the “Momzilla” moment of jumping up and putting some opposing parents in their place who were verbally harassing my son as he took a throw in (and I would have done it for any player on our team).  The truth is that because I am a Coach and I spend so much time watching youth soccer games, I had made a promise to myself to just sit on the sidelines and be silent.  I did not want my child or their coach to feel that I was trying to use my coaching knowledge to coach over them, and also as a coach, I know how distracting and infuriating parents on the sidelines can be.  For the MOST part I am proud to say that I do a pretty good job of keeping it quiet.  I am not perfect and have started becoming more vocal recently, but after writing this I am reaffirming my commitment to sideline silence.  (I keep saying I need to bring my IPod and headphones to the games and I just might for all of our tournaments in August.)  There have been moments when I have been embarrassed by the words and behaviors of the parents on my child’s team, and I have been disgusted by the words and behaviors of not only parents of the opposing team but also parents from nearby games that we can hear or see from our seats.  The point is: “Coachra” and “Momzilla” are running rampant at our youth soccer games and maybe by making jokes and talking about it, we can find a way to bring the fun back to the games and the focus back to the kids.  I also believe that if I follow the rainbow, I will find gold. 

                Do you know a “Coachra” or have a good “Momzilla” (or “Dadzillo”) story?  Care to share your embarrassing sideline moment?  Please read it-comment-like it-share it-subscribe to it!

Soccer Roles- The Youth Soccer Coach

Coach: a person who trains an athlete or a team of athletes

                When my son was born, over 10 years ago, I had it in my mind to one day coach his soccer team.  I had played Travel soccer and loved the game as a child, and not only did I want to share my love for all sports with my son, I wanted an activity to do with him.  Once he turned 4-years-old, I excitedly signed him up for Pee Wee soccer at the local soccer club and checked off that box volunteering to coach.  I then proceeded to stress (and may have harassed the local club) until I got that call at work one night about helping out with the Pee Wee soccer.  I had NO clue what I was doing, but I loved it!  Since that time, it has been an ongoing learning experience full of ups and downs.  There have been good times and bad times, I have wanted to quit many times, but then something would remind me why I coach youth soccer.  It started out as the wish of a young mom, a former youth soccer player, who wanted to do something special with her child, and it grew to me learning all that encompasses coaching young soccer players and coming to love the game, coaching, and most of all the kids.  I take my responsibility seriously.  I have made MANY mistakes over the years, but I have also learned from these mistakes and hope they have made me a better Youth Soccer Coach and person.

               

The definition of a coach only mentions training an athlete or team, but being a youth soccer coach, or coach for any kid, is so much more than that.  In fact, if you come across a youth coach who believes his/her only responsibility as a coach is to train the kids in their sport, this should be a red flag.  Our kids do come to soccer to learn the game, but they are kids and by nature any adult in their life takes on a role of role model, teacher, friend, and educator (run the word “coach” through Thesaurus and you may be surprised all of the words that are listed).  Kids will learn the game through the drills that we prepare, they will learn about life by the way we teach the drills and act at practices, games, parent meetings, and even in our personal lives when the players are nowhere to be found.  Like it or not, any coach or trainer who is involved in the soccer life of our kids is an influence on our children.  The more competitive our young soccer players, the more they will learn from their soccer coach not just about soccer, but about life.

                Ask yourself, why is it that we involve our kids in activities/sports?  Is it so they can grow up and be famous or earn a college scholarship? That may be a pipe dream in the back of our heads, but it should not be our driving force for involving our kids in activities.  I can say that I have my kids in sports for many reasons.  Most importantly, I want my kids to learn to be part of a team, to have that camaraderie and learn about teamwork, relying on others while also having to do their part to attain that common goal.  In my opinion, learning to be an active and reliable part of a team teaches our kids a lifelong lesson that will help them take those lessons use them to become successful in business and life.  In addition, being a part of a youth sports team as a kid should teach commitment, reliability, respect for authority, the importance of hard work, and social skills of getting along with others and dealing with conflict.  Although it is the parent’s responsibility to raise their child, children need to interact with other adults and will be influenced by the people they are around.  It then becomes the responsibility of the parent to determine which adults/coaches their child will be around.

               

As you can see, although the primary purpose of a Youth Soccer Coach is to train and teach the game of soccer and appropriate skills to our kids, the coach has a greater responsibility with our young soccer players as well.  Respect and Accountability/Responsibility are the main lessons our kids will need to learn from their coach.  A good Youth Soccer Coach is going to know how to speak to our kids.  This does not mean, the coach cannot yell or be tough on our kids, it does mean the Coach should know how to do so without using inappropriate or insulting language.  The lesson of respect goes further than just how the coach interacts with our children.  Even more importantly, our kids are going to learn about respect from their coach by the coach’s interactions with the parents, other coaches on the field, and most importantly referee.  Again, this does not mean the coach needs to be silent or never disagree with a call or defend his team against aggressive or disrespectful opposing coaches or parents, but it is all about how your child’s coach responds.  Does the coach scream, curse, threaten harm or use name calling or derogatory terms to defend his team or make a point?  Is the coach constantly questioning the referee and being argumentative or publically questioning or name calling the referee in front of the kids?  After the game, does the Coach blame the referee or make excuses blaming others for the team’s shortcomings on the field?  In my opinion, the most important indicator of a coach’s responsibility to his team is what he allows his players to do on the field.  Now this does not necessarily mean fouls and every action of each player- kids are kids and no one can control their every move or choice.  When I see players doing something on the field that I do not like, I quickly look to see the coach’s reaction.  Does the coach substitute the player to let the player know the behavior is not accepted?  Is the Coach verbally letting a player know that a behavior is not allowed or appropriate?  On my team, my players know certain things are unacceptable on the field and those behaviors include: talking back to a referee, coach, or parent, cursing (when I hear) at a player, and other objectionable behaviors.  We are all human and will sometimes do something we regret, the question is which coaches take responsibility with the players and parents after he/she has made a poor choice and who ignores the bad behavior and allows the young players to believe the objectionable behavior is acceptable.

              

  Other important lessons that our child’s Soccer Coach should be helping us teach our kids is Punctuality and Presentation.  The P’s are often the most overlooked but important lessons that players need to learn from youth sports, including the parents and coach.  In fact, I will throw the “C” word out here: Commitment.  A Youth Soccer Coach should not only show up on time, dressed appropriately to coach/train the team, and also should follow through on their commitment to the team and the kids, but the Coach should also demand the same from the players and accept nothing less.  Coaches should expect players to arrive on time and have some sort of system in place to address lateness, this could be loss of playtime, additional warm ups or laps, or having to stay after practice.  In addition, coaches should expect all players to show up in appropriate uniform and make sure that all players are properly tucked in, matching, and have all gear prior to check in with the referee.  Again, there should be a penalty system in place so the players understand the importance of presentation and following the rules a set up by the Coach (the authority figure).  Most importantly, in my opinion, a Coach must make a commitment to their team and show up at practices and games, and they must follow through with seasons and if they plan to leave the team, they must attempt to put into place whatever is necessary so the team continues without the coach or helps to find a new team for the players.  In the same manner, the coach must demand commitment from players and parents.  The coach must let the players and parents know that they are expected at practices and games, and that it will not be tolerated for players to not finish a season.  Of course as Coaches, we are limited in what we can do and we cannot physically force a player to finish a season with the team or be on time or show up to practices and games, but we can address the issue.  It is surprising how many parents have no experience in organized sports and do not realize the importance of commitment.  As a coach, it is our responsibility to address the issue and try to get the player and parent to understand commitment and why it is important.

               

As always, this is just a small part of the role and responsibilities of a Youth Soccer Coach.  It is ultimately the parent’s responsibility to determine if your child’s Soccer Coach is teaching them on the field and off the soccer and life lessons that you want your child to learn.  If you decide that you want your child to remain on the current team, then it is your responsibility to support the coach in his/her rules and expectations for the team and players.  As always, any disagreements or questions you may have for the coach should be addressed privately and away from the players.  A Youth Soccer Player should not see or hear their coach being questioned, unless the infraction of the coach is severe, and if it is that severe and the coach does not take responsibility on their own, then you need to decide if this is someone you want to coach your child.  I keep saying, we are all human and soccer is an emotional game especially when our kids are involved, I have broken most of the rules/responsibilities above at some point in my coaching career.  What is different is that I learned from my mistakes, acknowledged and addressed my mistakes with my players and parents, and (hopefully) have grown as a Coach and a person.

               

What do you expect from your child’s coach?  Do you agree with the responsibilities as listed above?  As always, Like It- Share It- Subscribe to It-Comment-Follow.