Soccer Roles- The Youth Soccer Coach

Coach: a person who trains an athlete or a team of athletes

                When my son was born, over 10 years ago, I had it in my mind to one day coach his soccer team.  I had played Travel soccer and loved the game as a child, and not only did I want to share my love for all sports with my son, I wanted an activity to do with him.  Once he turned 4-years-old, I excitedly signed him up for Pee Wee soccer at the local soccer club and checked off that box volunteering to coach.  I then proceeded to stress (and may have harassed the local club) until I got that call at work one night about helping out with the Pee Wee soccer.  I had NO clue what I was doing, but I loved it!  Since that time, it has been an ongoing learning experience full of ups and downs.  There have been good times and bad times, I have wanted to quit many times, but then something would remind me why I coach youth soccer.  It started out as the wish of a young mom, a former youth soccer player, who wanted to do something special with her child, and it grew to me learning all that encompasses coaching young soccer players and coming to love the game, coaching, and most of all the kids.  I take my responsibility seriously.  I have made MANY mistakes over the years, but I have also learned from these mistakes and hope they have made me a better Youth Soccer Coach and person.

               

The definition of a coach only mentions training an athlete or team, but being a youth soccer coach, or coach for any kid, is so much more than that.  In fact, if you come across a youth coach who believes his/her only responsibility as a coach is to train the kids in their sport, this should be a red flag.  Our kids do come to soccer to learn the game, but they are kids and by nature any adult in their life takes on a role of role model, teacher, friend, and educator (run the word “coach” through Thesaurus and you may be surprised all of the words that are listed).  Kids will learn the game through the drills that we prepare, they will learn about life by the way we teach the drills and act at practices, games, parent meetings, and even in our personal lives when the players are nowhere to be found.  Like it or not, any coach or trainer who is involved in the soccer life of our kids is an influence on our children.  The more competitive our young soccer players, the more they will learn from their soccer coach not just about soccer, but about life.

                Ask yourself, why is it that we involve our kids in activities/sports?  Is it so they can grow up and be famous or earn a college scholarship? That may be a pipe dream in the back of our heads, but it should not be our driving force for involving our kids in activities.  I can say that I have my kids in sports for many reasons.  Most importantly, I want my kids to learn to be part of a team, to have that camaraderie and learn about teamwork, relying on others while also having to do their part to attain that common goal.  In my opinion, learning to be an active and reliable part of a team teaches our kids a lifelong lesson that will help them take those lessons use them to become successful in business and life.  In addition, being a part of a youth sports team as a kid should teach commitment, reliability, respect for authority, the importance of hard work, and social skills of getting along with others and dealing with conflict.  Although it is the parent’s responsibility to raise their child, children need to interact with other adults and will be influenced by the people they are around.  It then becomes the responsibility of the parent to determine which adults/coaches their child will be around.

               

As you can see, although the primary purpose of a Youth Soccer Coach is to train and teach the game of soccer and appropriate skills to our kids, the coach has a greater responsibility with our young soccer players as well.  Respect and Accountability/Responsibility are the main lessons our kids will need to learn from their coach.  A good Youth Soccer Coach is going to know how to speak to our kids.  This does not mean, the coach cannot yell or be tough on our kids, it does mean the Coach should know how to do so without using inappropriate or insulting language.  The lesson of respect goes further than just how the coach interacts with our children.  Even more importantly, our kids are going to learn about respect from their coach by the coach’s interactions with the parents, other coaches on the field, and most importantly referee.  Again, this does not mean the coach needs to be silent or never disagree with a call or defend his team against aggressive or disrespectful opposing coaches or parents, but it is all about how your child’s coach responds.  Does the coach scream, curse, threaten harm or use name calling or derogatory terms to defend his team or make a point?  Is the coach constantly questioning the referee and being argumentative or publically questioning or name calling the referee in front of the kids?  After the game, does the Coach blame the referee or make excuses blaming others for the team’s shortcomings on the field?  In my opinion, the most important indicator of a coach’s responsibility to his team is what he allows his players to do on the field.  Now this does not necessarily mean fouls and every action of each player- kids are kids and no one can control their every move or choice.  When I see players doing something on the field that I do not like, I quickly look to see the coach’s reaction.  Does the coach substitute the player to let the player know the behavior is not accepted?  Is the Coach verbally letting a player know that a behavior is not allowed or appropriate?  On my team, my players know certain things are unacceptable on the field and those behaviors include: talking back to a referee, coach, or parent, cursing (when I hear) at a player, and other objectionable behaviors.  We are all human and will sometimes do something we regret, the question is which coaches take responsibility with the players and parents after he/she has made a poor choice and who ignores the bad behavior and allows the young players to believe the objectionable behavior is acceptable.

              

  Other important lessons that our child’s Soccer Coach should be helping us teach our kids is Punctuality and Presentation.  The P’s are often the most overlooked but important lessons that players need to learn from youth sports, including the parents and coach.  In fact, I will throw the “C” word out here: Commitment.  A Youth Soccer Coach should not only show up on time, dressed appropriately to coach/train the team, and also should follow through on their commitment to the team and the kids, but the Coach should also demand the same from the players and accept nothing less.  Coaches should expect players to arrive on time and have some sort of system in place to address lateness, this could be loss of playtime, additional warm ups or laps, or having to stay after practice.  In addition, coaches should expect all players to show up in appropriate uniform and make sure that all players are properly tucked in, matching, and have all gear prior to check in with the referee.  Again, there should be a penalty system in place so the players understand the importance of presentation and following the rules a set up by the Coach (the authority figure).  Most importantly, in my opinion, a Coach must make a commitment to their team and show up at practices and games, and they must follow through with seasons and if they plan to leave the team, they must attempt to put into place whatever is necessary so the team continues without the coach or helps to find a new team for the players.  In the same manner, the coach must demand commitment from players and parents.  The coach must let the players and parents know that they are expected at practices and games, and that it will not be tolerated for players to not finish a season.  Of course as Coaches, we are limited in what we can do and we cannot physically force a player to finish a season with the team or be on time or show up to practices and games, but we can address the issue.  It is surprising how many parents have no experience in organized sports and do not realize the importance of commitment.  As a coach, it is our responsibility to address the issue and try to get the player and parent to understand commitment and why it is important.

               

As always, this is just a small part of the role and responsibilities of a Youth Soccer Coach.  It is ultimately the parent’s responsibility to determine if your child’s Soccer Coach is teaching them on the field and off the soccer and life lessons that you want your child to learn.  If you decide that you want your child to remain on the current team, then it is your responsibility to support the coach in his/her rules and expectations for the team and players.  As always, any disagreements or questions you may have for the coach should be addressed privately and away from the players.  A Youth Soccer Player should not see or hear their coach being questioned, unless the infraction of the coach is severe, and if it is that severe and the coach does not take responsibility on their own, then you need to decide if this is someone you want to coach your child.  I keep saying, we are all human and soccer is an emotional game especially when our kids are involved, I have broken most of the rules/responsibilities above at some point in my coaching career.  What is different is that I learned from my mistakes, acknowledged and addressed my mistakes with my players and parents, and (hopefully) have grown as a Coach and a person.

               

What do you expect from your child’s coach?  Do you agree with the responsibilities as listed above?  As always, Like It- Share It- Subscribe to It-Comment-Follow.