Possibly the Most Important Soccer Parent Post Yet

Although I have been away for a week and have not posted anything to the blog, I have started and restarted so many different post topics.  Now that I have finished the “Long Island Youth Soccer Summer Camp Series”, have attended the first 2 tournaments of the Summer 2013 Youth Soccer Season, completed Long Island Junior Soccer registration for my team, and played team manager and helped my son’s team prepare for their next out of state tournament, my mind is going in so many soccer directions.  I have SO much I want to share and so many opinions, suggestions, and complaints that I have been unable to complete one post for you all.  While trying to figure out which topic to share first, I realized that there was a common thread to them all, it was youth soccer parents and their role in youth soccer.

                If I didn’t hold so many hats in youth soccer on Long Island, I would probably not realize that parents hold one of the most important roles of all.  My personal favorite quote for Youth Soccer is “Let the players play, the referees’ ref, the coaches coach, and the parents parent.”  To me the quote is self-explanatory, but 1 day on the youth soccer fields of Long Island (and beyond) reminds me that many need the quote explained.  My main focus today is to take a look at the parent’s role in youth soccer.  If I was to take an in depth look at the soccer parent’s role, I would be writing a dissertation and hoping to earn my Doctorate in Youth Soccer.  As this degree does not exist, I will focus on a few parent topics that as a parent and a coach, I wish all soccer parents had more knowledge about. 

**COACHMOMMYLI DISCLAIMER- Before I am called out as a hypocrite or written off as a “goody-two-shoes know-it-all”: I have broken EVERY rule and recommendation that I will mention below.  In fact- I can state that it is more embarrassing when one of my family members or I don’t follow the expectations below because I DO know better.  But as I always say- we are only human.  It is about trying to be the best soccer parent we can be even if we aren’t always.**

           

     Let’s start at the most obvious- Team Paperwork:  A soccer parent’s first responsibility is to make sure that they get all the necessary paperwork and payment to the team Coach or Manager and in a timely manner.  This can be birth certificate, registration paperwork, Medical Releases, training or tournament fees.  It seems like such an obvious responsibility of parents, but as a coach, I can tell you it is one of the more annoying aggravations and oversights that parents make.  Coaches and team managers are responsible for providing the payment and paperwork to the powers that be for each league, training entity, or tournament and they must provide the information by a certain date in order to keep the team compliant.  If even 1 parent fails to make proper payment or provide paperwork as requested, the entire team can suffer and miss out on a tournament or training opportunity.  Personally, I can tell you, it is also embarrassing as a coach to not have all paperwork and payment on time.  It makes me look unprepared and unprofessional and it embarrasses me.  Not only must I deal with the dressing down I will receive from my Club President, registrar, or Tournament Director, but I must also take my time to call, text, email, track down whichever parent or parents have not provided whatever was requested.  As an unpaid coach, I can tell you this is NOT what I signed up for when I asked to be a Youth Soccer Coach.  As a parent- pay the money, sign and provide the paperwork, and give any answers required by the team in the time allotted.  It is not just your child affected by you not being prepared, but an entire team and the adults who are volunteering their time to help your soccer child.

Practices, games, and team events:  Get your child on time to all practices, games, and team events.  “On Time” is not the time that YOU feel your child and the team need to arrive, it is the time the coach and/or trainer has stated the soccer players must arrive.  In fact, the old adage is well used in these situations- if the Coach say’s 1 hour prior to game, your soccer youth should be at the fields 1 hour and 10 minutes prior to game.  A practice cannot be run properly if all players do not arrive on time.  As a coach, we only get a short period of time with the team and we have created a practice plan that is based on all players arriving by a certain time to practice.  This does not mean players running to the field at 5pm, but them being at the field with their gear on and ready to start warm ups before 5pm.  For games, a referee has the right to start a game early if he chooses.  It is the expectation that all teams and their players will be prepared to be checked in and ready to play up to 30 minutes prior to game time.  Most coaches, including myself, require the players to arrive at least 1 hour prior to game time.  Parents should add in extra time to allow for traffic, getting lost, and finding parking.  There is a direct correlation between how well a team plays and how much uninterrupted pre-game warm up time they have had as a team.   Even if your coach or trainer is habitually late, if your team is old enough, they should be taught to be on time, arrive prepared, and begin warm ups on their own.  Do not fall into the trap of becoming lax in being on time and arriving prepared based upon the coach, trainer, or other parents and players.  Even if you must wait every week for 20-30 minutes while everyone else arrives whenever they want- you are teaching your young soccer player an important lesson about the importance of commitment, preparedness, and respecting the rules of the team and game.

        

        Uniform, equipment, and hydration:  This topic includes one of my biggest Pet Peeves and embarrassments as a coach and parent.  I believe, regardless of age, all youth soccer players should be taught the importance of presentation on and off the field.  Every player should be properly uniformed (this includes jersey, shorts, socks, warm-ups and team bags- everything should be matching in color and be in good condition).  Players should only take the field to be checked in and play if their uniform matches their teammates AND they are all tucked in.  Nothing makes a team look less prepared for a game than if players are wearing different jerseys or different colored socks, and if they have not taken the time to tuck in their jerseys.  I have always pointed out to my players when we see an opposing team who arrives in 2 neat lines with matching uniforms, warm ups, and bags.  It is true, that team will always intimidate their opponent and give off the impression of being a well skilled team, even if they lack in skill. The prepared team has won the first mind game before the match begins- do not underestimate the Importance of the mind game.

                In order to be properly prepared for the match, your child must arrive with a properly packed bag.  In every bag should be their other uniform (you never know when the uniform color will change and you do not want your child to be the one who does not play because he doesn’t have the right jersey).  I also tell my players (and sons) they should keep all cleats, back up socks, a spare air pump, ball, and under armor in their personal soccer bag.  I also make sure my sons each have a personal first aid kit in their bag.  The best habit to get your soccer player into at a young age is for them to keep their bag packed at all times.  When I check my son’s bag (which all parents should regularly), I expect his outdoor,  turf, and indoor cleats.  All uniform shirts, shorts, and socks, under armor, team warm-ups, shin guards, first aid kit, and soccer ball should be in the bag.  On game day, he should either have packed his small individual cooler with water and Gatorade or have put the drinks in his bag.  Each player should hydrate with water at least 1 hour prior to game and have enough water and Gatorade to remain hydrated during warm ups, each half of the game, and post-game.  If a snack is required, it should be fruit and nothing sweet or heavy.  Your soccer child should not be eating 1 hour prior to game and if you are at a tournament, they should not be given sweets and heavy food or soda between games.  Reward them with a sweet snack or hamburger after they play games for the day, but keep it light and healthy during the tournament.

             

   Sidelines:  All I can say is sit down, cheer nicely, and enjoy the game.  Do not cry every perceived foul or bad play against your “baby”.  First off, our kids play soccer.  Real soccer is one of the most physical games there can be.  Also, not every foul or play is purposely dirty.  We are dealing with young soccer players who are still learning the game and it is not OUR job as sideline parents to teach them.  It is the job of the coaches and referees.  If they aren’t doing the job, in your opinion, you need to decide how that affects your child’s role in the league, but this does not mean you need to yell, scream, boo, and cry.  There is NO need to insult the ref, youth players, coaches, trainers, or opposing parents.  Let the players play, the referees’ ref, the coaches coach, and the parents parent.  Just try to enjoy the game and if you are not enjoying the game, take a walk.  Come back and deal with your concerns with your coach after the game and away from the players, referees, and other parents.  That is the other rule- NEVER let your soccer child hear you question or insult their coach.  Address any questions directly to the coach and in private.  The sidelines are the most emotional place for all those involved from the players, to coaches, to parents, to referees.  Try to keep this in mind and although it may not always feel right- try to always be the bigger person and remind yourself it is youth soccer and not world peace.

                This is just a small and quick guideline for soccer parents and every coach and parent is going to share a different philosophy.  Certain things I have mentioned are not of importance to others, while some will read this and understand why I expect certain things from parents and players.  The big words to remember as a soccer parent are to help your soccer youth be prepared, on time, and respectful.  Also, keep a sense of humor.  It is possible to be committed to serious soccer while keeping a sense of humor as long as the hard work and commitment are there.